パートナー

paatonaa partner

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As is the case in English, this term’s meaning can vary in context. I’ve only rarely encountered it in business contexts, but it’s not unheard of to talk about a client or a company that you work together with as a パートナー. I also sometimes encountered it in musical contexts, when I was performing in choruses in Japan, to refer to accompanists. But the most common use of パートナー within the circles I run in is within the romantic partner context. I know that in English, my fellow rainbow dwellers began to use partner, or sometimes life partner, in the 1980s to start reminding society at large of the permanence and significance of our relationships, and although the frequency of its use diminished as, here in the United States, domestic partnership and marriage became legal and recognized, it is still commonly used in Japan (in part because marriage rights have not yet been won). But there are a variety of ways to refer to one’s romantic partner in Japanese, in relationships that exist outside of marriage. 相棒 aibou is somewhat casual, but also intimate, depending on context, and can refer to a buddy, a compatriot, or a romantic partner. 愛人 aizin and 恋人 koibito refer to lovers and paramours, and can be used both to refer to the person you are committed to, but also to someone you are involved with outside your committed relationship. I tend to use 旦那 danna (husband) to refer to my husband, but because Japanese does not have marriage equality yet, it can ring odd. People expect that because I use that word, that there must be a wife for my husband, so I admit the challenge. Personally, I don’t like パートナー, because it has a cold feel to me. To judge by the way it is used by my coevals in Japan, however, that feeling is unwarranted.